


Escape

by VitaLupum



Category: Creepypasta - Fandom, SCP Foundation, Slender Man Mythos
Genre: Gen, Humor, No Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-11
Updated: 2013-06-11
Packaged: 2017-12-14 16:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/838722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VitaLupum/pseuds/VitaLupum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jeff the Killer and Slenderman are taken into the SCP Foundation, neither of them are exactly happy about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Escape

" _Easy,_  guys!"

The youth giggled as he was manhandled into the truck, blood running down his face from a wound above his electric-blue eye. He grinned - although he really didn't have much choice - and winked at the one remaining female guard, who stared him in undisguised revulsion.

"Nice ass, sweetheart."

"Shut up, Jeffrey," one of the guards growled, and Jeff pouted, eyes sparking in the flickering light of the cafeteria sign.

"You're not making this very fun," he sighed, and was thrown to the floor of the van, wincing as his head cracked against the bench he should've been sat down on. "Do I not get someone to hold my h-"

His complaints were shut off as the van door was slammed behind him, and he crawled under the bench, humorous demeanour vanishing in seconds as the anger took over.

"Well, fuck you all in the ass with a rusty knife," he growled.

* * *

"What  _is_  it?"

"Agent Dawes," the professor said warning, and the agent stared at the cage in faint horror, not even diverting his attention. "I would advise you to keep a professional demeanour, at least until we classify the potential SCP."

"What's it  _doing_?" Dawes whispered, as he watched a black tentacle come snaking out of an airhole only to be Tasered back inside with a flash and the smell of burning hair.

"Trying to escape, presumably. Potential SCP seems to fit the description of a myth in the Tuscaloosa area of Alabama known as the 'Slender Man'," the scientist sighed, flicking through a keyboard. "Reports vary of its hostility and intelligence, although no doubt it's Euclid or above…"

_is anybody_

_out there_

_this box is very_

_small_

"It's speaking," Dawes murmured, and the professor nodded.

"It certainly seems intelligent, but we've been fooled before," he laughed, a dry, barking cough that seemed entirely without humour.

_i demand to_

_see my lawyer_

"It's got a sense of humour too," Agent Birkin grinned, appearing next to Agent Dawes. "I wonder how it'd get on with 682…"

_if you put me_

_in with that thing_

_i'll kill_

_you all_

"If we can get it inside, tranquilise it and classify it, I'm more intrigued by its similarities to #173," the scientist said, motioning to the cage. "Do you see the lights on the corners?"

There were indeed four flashing lights on the corners.

"Those are connected to four cameras. When not on camera, the potential-SCP can move at unprecedented speeds for a creature of its height and body type," the scientist explained. "However, whilst it is being filmed, it moves slowly and often a lot more… normally."

_i like to_

_pose for the camera_

"Normally? That the scientific term, Doc?" Birkin grinned, and Dawes looked at the cage again, a shiver of unease running down his spine.

* * *

"It's not even  _doing_  anything," D-12245 sighed, and turned his head away.

" _If you could continue to face #173, that would be ideal_ ," the voice from the speakers repeated for about the sixth time. " _And remember to give three seconds warning before blinking_."

"Yeah, sure," D-64435, and blinked.

_Snap._

"Agh!" D-12245 shrieked, now staring at the statue, which now stood over the broken body of D-64435. "The rubber-fucking-chicken thing fucking  _killed_  him!"

"Setting that as my ringtone," one of the scientists in the booth snorted.

" _If you could please continue to watch the statue. If, in three seconds, you could t-_ "

 _Snap_.

"They always go for the door," the scientist sighed, and took another bite of his cereal bar. " _Always_. Even when they  _see_  what blinking does. This is why they're D-Class, isn't it."

"Yeah," the other scientist said, trimming the audio-file on his phone. "Hey, they're testing #261 in a bit, why don't we go and get some lunch…?" He was interrupted by the warning siren, and scurried to the window, staring into the corridor below with wide eyes.

"Is that the Keter siren?" the first scientist gasped, and dropped the cereal bar, scuttling to the door. The second one shrugged, and stared into the corridor.

"I thought that was long, short, long," he said, and they watched as the enormous crate was wheeled in to the empty holding cell opposite, agents Birkin and Dawes strolling in either side of it. The enormous '?' on the side of the box made them both nod.

"Unclassed. God, they just need a voice to say 'UNCLASSIFIED INBOUND' or something. That'd make it easier than remembering six-hundred damn sirens," the first scientist groaned.

"Come on. Let's go and get lunch," the second one grinned. "I'll give you twenty dollars if you eat something ordered from #261 when it's unplugged…"

* * *

"Do you understand me?" the scientist said loudly, and the creature turned its head towards him, staring at him somehow without eyes.

_i want to_

_go home_

"Do you understand me, SCP-1214," he repeated, and Slenderman looked down at his feet.

_yes mortal_

_i understand your_

_primitive rambling_

"Good. Now, what is your name?"

_your kind has_

_given me many_

_but since_

_a name_

_differentiates_

_and there is only_

_one_

_of me_

_i saw no need to take one_

"We will refer to you as SCP-1214," the scientist informed him, and Slenderman stood up, outline flickering.

_take me_

_back to the forest_

"No," Dawes said, staring at the clipboard he held. "You're responsible for at least six hundred deaths, and those are only the ones reported since 1200AD. You're a figure in myth and legend from…"

_east germany_

_to japan_

_aokigahara forest_

_i know_

"We're going to keep you here and study you. Should you truly prove to be sapient and should you co-operate, you will be allowed certain freedoms and permissions as the board decides," Birkin read out from a piece of paper, before shrugging and throwing it over his shoulder. "Should you misbehave, we will kick your ass seven ways 'til Sunday and believe me, we have much more than seven ways of ass-kicking to choose from."

The creature turned to him, and was suddenly much closer to the bars than he remembered.

_i don't like_

_you_

* * *

"Get out."

Jeff narrowed his eyes, and shook his head.

"Do I get a lollipop for being a good boy?" he snarled, lips cracking and bleeding in the corners of his torn mouth, and the guard sighed.

"You are one fucked up guy." He grabbed his arm, and pulled him out, Jeff struggling wildly against the straitjacket they had forced upon him. "Come on, sunshine. They want to look at you."

"Why? Isn't this fucking Hogwarts or something?" Jeff giggled, humorous demeanour back in full force suddenly. "Only magical freaks and weirdoes need apply?"

"We're having a busy day," the gate guard noted dryly as Jeff was dragged in, legs flailing wildly. "What's this one?"

"He's murdered thousands of people all over America, and the brass don't get how," the guy signing Jeff in sighed. "They want to poke around with him a bit before they hand him to the FBI."

"Poke me around?" Jeff gasped, mouth opening so wide it began to rip a little, blood foaming down his face. "But you have to buy me a drink first!" He giggled, and then his expression became one of violent rage. "I'm  _not that kind of fucking girl, chief_!"

"Throw him in the empty one down from #173, the one opposite's taken," the gate guard shouted as Jeff was dragged away, shouting and screaming.

* * *

_hello_

Dawes and Birkin watched as the creature stood at the bars, staring across at the metal doors into 173's cage with no eyes. Occasionally, it would try to stretch out a smoky, black tentacle that seemed to sprout from its spine, and the electricity that arced through its cage would zap them back.

_ow_

"Are you talking to #173, #1214?" Dawes asked, and the figure turned to stare at him.

_does it count_

_if they're not_

_talking back_

"Oh. No," Dawes replied, and Birkin looked up from his magazine, lazily chewing gum.

"Dawes, are you  _chit-chatting_  to the SCPs again?"

_shut up birkin_

"Don't you tell me to shut up, Noodle-Guy," Birkin mumbled, returning his attention to the magazine. "Dawes, don't speak even if spoken to. Clear?"

"Clear," Dawes sighed. "Birkin, this is kind of dull. Why are we here again?"

"Needs at least two guards at all times until we've gotten the cameras around the cell hooked up," Birkin sighed, and there was a commotion outside. "What the-"

They stood up, watching as the struggling figure of Jeff was carried past.

"Shit, I know who that is," Dawes gasped, and Birkin stared as Jeff winked at them.

"I'm in  _Gryffindor_!" he shouted, and was dragged through a door.

"That's Jeff the Killer," Dawes murmured, and Slenderman got as close to the bars as they could.

_do_

_tell_

"He was some kid who got bleach to the face in a fight over his little brother and went batshit," Dawes murmured, and Birkin nodded, watching as the door swung shut slowly, Jeff's shrieks still ringing off the walls. "Like… like the Joker."

"Surely his name isn't Jeff the Killer," Birkin snorted.

_jeffrey kim, actually_

_how interesting_

The two of them turned to the creature who was stood just behind them, staring at the swing door, and remembered their jobs, or more accurately the penalty for failing at them.

"Get back, you," Birkin snapped.

* * *

"Whoo!"

Jeff threw himself at the cage bars, grinning from ear to ear - literally - and waved at the scientist on the other side.

" _Gar_ _ç_ _on_?" he grinned, and then snarled, baring his teeth. " _There is a fly in my cell._ "

"Don't yell too loudly," the scientist sighed. Working at the Foundation tended to inoculate you from things like that. "Everyone will want one."

"Not if they're dead," Jeff grinned horribly, and licked the bars. "Tastes like bars." He saw he wasn't getting a rise from the scientist, and changed tack. "Who was the really tall dude with no face?"

"Never you mind, Jeffrey," the scientist shook her head. "So, we're going to test you to see if you qualify to be an SCP."

"Yawn, next," Jeff sighed.

"Jeffrey, you are going to be in custody until the day you die anyway," the scientist said calmly, scribbling on her board. "Would you rather it be here, where we'll treat you for what you are, than the government, who will treat you as just another killer?"

"Well, I  _am_  a special snowflake," Jeff beamed, fluttering his eyelashes grotesquely, and then shook his head. "No sell, sweetheart."

"We'll let you have access to Liu's whereabouts, and schedule visits," the scientist said, and Jeff dropped from the bars, eyes calm and attentive, smirk and snarl both gone from his lips. "Whereas, if you do  _not_  co-operate…"

"Do. Not. Threaten. Liu." Jeff's tone was no longer insane, or humorous. It was calm and murderous, with a hint of terror for his baby brother. "You  _will_  stay away from him."

"Or?" the scientist asked, sounding bored, and Jeff stared at her, rage and concern and hatred almost tangible in his eyes. "You cannot beat us, Jeff."

"Watch me," he snapped, and then the grin was back. "Watch me, sweetheart."

* * *

Slenderman caught the thoughts, dull as they were through the thick walls, from down the corridor, same as he could hear the thoughts of #173, and smiled - inwardly, of course. This Jeff seemed a lot like that 'Alex' he had dealt with - desperate to save one person, desperate enough to murder all others.

_gentlemen_

_this has been_

_lovely_

_but i have to go_

"Where?" Birkin asked, still leafing through the magazine, and Dawes drew his gun, staring at the tentacles that were snaking through the air behind the creature like seaweed in waves.

_home_

There was a crackle as what seemed like a shockwave emanated from Slenderman's body - and the electricity on his bars shorted out. As did the lights, the door to his cage - and the door to #173's cage as well.

"Fucking  _run_!" Dawes shrieked, seeing the light change to green and then fizzle out over #173's door, and Birkin turned, firing off a few clips in Slenderman's general direction as they ran onto the doorway that led to the exit.

"We have a breach…!" he shouted into his comm, before shaking it and realising ti wasn't working. "Aww,  _crap_ …!"

Dawes grabbed him and turned him around, their backs to the exit, and Birkin's stomach roiled as if he was about to throw up.

#173 stood in front of them, scratched paint eyes seemingly staring at them.

"I am blinking in three," Dawes whispered, and they backed away. "When I have commenced blinking, you will blink as you turn to unlock the door. This way, we might even both go home tonight alive with all of our limbs."

* * *

Slenderman's tentacles dragged him down the corridor, and he saw in the mist of the various pipes his shockwave had shattered a figure leap across the corridor, clutching a knife.

_jeff_

Jeff turned to face Slenderman, and bowed, raising the knife warningly.

_it is a_

_pleasure_

"The Slender Man," Jeff breathed, eyes sparkling in the dim red backup lights. "As I live and breathe." He giggled horribly. "Didn't recognise you in cuffs. Did you do this?" he gestured around, and Slenderman nodded.

_it has_

_taken a lot out of me_

"So why'd you let me out, huh?" Jeff asked, and Slenderman looked at him.

_if you_

_wish to see liu_

_again_

_you will be my distraction_

Jeff considered this for a moment. God knows what else the creature had let out during its escape, and since he seemed to be, if not benevolent -  _certainly_  not benevolent - then at least willing to strike a deal and watch Jeff's back.

_i will get_

_us both out_

_unscathed_

"Deal," Jeff nodded.

* * *

"What's happening?" a guard asked, and the team leader shook his head.

"Two SCPs and a prisoner have escaped. One was #173." There was mutterings, ripples of fear throughout the ranks of men. "Shoot to kill. Use mirrors around corners. Try your damn best not to blink."

"And the others?" someone at the back piped up, and the man shook his head.

"Prisoner is known as 'Jeff the Killer'. Suspected SCP, but until proven otherwise just some teenage nutjob with a knife. Other SCP is Keter-class, but Team Whiskey Alpha 343 are going in before us."

"The Bugzappers? Why?" someone asked.

"It's weak to electricity. I don't know, do I?" the team leader snapped. "Now get out there and do your job!"

* * *

_you really are_

_a psycho_

Jeff let the latest victim drop, giggling as their head bounced on their shoulders, neck broken, and then nodded.

"Are we nearly outside?" he asked, and a team of men rounded the corner. "Hey! Playmates!"

He bounded down the corridor, and Slenderman followed, tentacles pulling him along. Jeff sickened him, a little; he killed in such a messy way, leaving behind carnage. Slenderman liked things to be  _neat_.

" _Augh_!"

Jeff stabbed a knife into one guy's eye, and Slenderman snatched another guard backwards, ripping him into four pieces with his tentacles and throwing them at another guard before Jeff somersaulted over him to slice another guard right down the centre of the face, skin peeling like a collar of a jacket to either side.

 _"Bugzappers, on me_!"

There was a jolt, and Jeff threw himself away from Slenderman as an arc of electricity slammed into the creature. Jeff watched as Slenderman convulsed, fingers twitching, body pained, and then, he heard something he never thought he'd ever hear.

He heard the Slender Man whimper in pain.

"Not cool," he growled, and was, in truth, a little concerned. They knew Slenderman's weaknesses - this could lead to a very bad situation indeed, if Jeff was left here on his own. As the sparks died down, the corridor black after the blinding flash, he saw the little red light that pinpointed the gun.

The man fired up the gun again, and the last thing he saw in the artificial lightning was Jeff flying towards him, eyes  _white_  in the light, teeth bared.

Slenderman kneeled on the ground. If he had been human, he would have been trying to regain his breath, but instead he was trying to get rid of the agonising fizzing feeling that electricity produced in him. He  _hated it_  - after all, why else would he live in the woods and disrupt anything electrical that came near him?

_jeff_

Jeff turned, and Slenderman nodded.

_thank you_

_lets go_

* * *

Birkin and Dawes had lost #173, or so they thought, creeping down corridors back to back. They had heard over the now-functioning comm that Jeff had been released as well - and thus they were walking in silence, tapping each other when they had to blink.

"Look," Birkin whispered as they crept into the surveillance room, and pointed at a camera that looked over corridor #107-Theta. Jeff and Slenderman were strolling down the corridors, bruised and bloodied but otherwise alive. "They're going to  _escape_."

"Look," Dawes said, and motioned to the screen. Adjoining #107-Theta was #106-Maintenance, where a familiar figure stood, yellow, chipped paint gaudy against the grey metal. "It's stopped now we're here to see it."

Birkin hit the button to open the door adjoining the two corridors, and Dawes watched as Slenderman and Jeff stopped, turning to investigate the noise.

"Escape this," he said, tonelessly, and smashed the screen so that #173 was once more unseen.

* * *

"What was that?" Jeff asked, and Slenderman turned to see #173. He could hear its thoughts fully since it had escaped… and he did not like them.

**kill smash kill snap burn kill hate destroy kill snap** _**blink** _ **destroy**

_jeff_

_don't blink_

"Why not?" Jeff asked, staring at the statue. "I mean…" He blinked, and the statue was suddenly closer. " _Whoa_."

_it can only_

_move when you blink_

_like me_

_with cameras_

"But you were looking at-" Jeff realised the stupidity of his words as he said them, and stared at it. "Dude. I have to blink.  _Come on_. Stop the fucking thing."

_i cant_

_it's a statue_

_what do i do_

_unveil it_

"Hold it!" Jeff shouted in panic, eyes stretched wider than normal, even by his standards. " _Talk_  to it!"

_statue thing_

_leave jeff alone_

**burn pain no why should i death kill** _**blink** _ **snap**

Jeff was backing down the corridor, eyes still wide, and as Slenderman began to whisper to the thing he watched, eyes burning.

_why arent you attacking_

_me_

**destroy pain death you're not human hate burn** _**blink** _

Slenderman looked as thoughtful as someone with no face can, and then leant in, and whispered something.

Jeff couldn't take it any more. He blinked-

And the statue was gone.

"Where did it go?!" he panicked, and a tentacle closed around his wrist.

_i talked to_

_it_

_you should try this_

_amazing technique_

Jeff and Slenderman continued down the corridor, and #173 sat in the furthest corner of the maintenance tunnel. It was possibly shaking, but that could've been a mere visual trick. The grinding of stone as it shivered was harder to dismiss.

* * *

_were out_

Jeff and Slenderman both inhaled the night air, and as the alarms went off behind them they nodded at each other.

"I guess I'll be seeing you around," Jeff grinned, and Slenderman took a bow.

_it has been_

_a pleasure_

As Slenderman faded into the woods, Jeff took one look back, and then nodded.

"Adios, motherfuckers," he giggled, and was gone.

And as for SCP #173, it took a full week before it dared even move again.


End file.
